


Forgiveness

by joanie1985



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanie1985/pseuds/joanie1985
Summary: A story based on Aaron not letting his mum put Robert down anymore. He's forgiven him, and he thinks she should too and he's going to tell her why.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I was given this amazing story idea by the amazing @brokenspell77 and basically there were only going to be 3 chapters but more likely there'll be 4 or 5 as this has been broken up a bit. It's looking at forgiveness coming to Robert from Chas and Liv. Hope you enjoy! Sorry it's not the best summary!

In the months since Robert had confessed all to Aaron about his night with Rebecca, the two men had been working hard to get through it, to get their relationship back on track. It hadn't been easy, not even remotely. They'd both had to come to terms with the fact there was a baby on the way. Not something either of them wanted, and it would have been so much easier if she'd had the abortion as planned, but she didn't and they'd had to accept it. That had been the hardest part. Robert burying his head in the sand for as long as possible and Aaron being the one who had to pull it out in the end. Force his husband to face up to things. 

He knew Robert was terrified, of a lot of things. Of being a father, of having to be involved with Rebecca in anyway, but mostly, of losing Aaron if he did choose to be in the baby's life. It took a long time before Aaron was finally able to make him believe that wouldn't happen.

If he was honest, he was glad that his mum and Liv had been gone through the whole thing. Chas especially would have made the whole process so much harder. Even in phone calls she had gone on about how much of a waste or time Robert was, how mad she was, how she'd never forgive him and that Aaron shouldn't either. Of course, on the phone, he could deal with it easily. He just hung up.

That wouldn't be so easy now though, because she had arrived home last night and he had been summoned to the pub for lunch. He already had a pretty good idea of what to expect. He considered just not going, but he knew that would just cause more problems. So at 12 o'clock, he headed to The Woolpack, and when he arrived, he pulled himself a pint before heading into the back room where his mother was waiting.

“My boy!” Chas exclaimed the moment he walked through the door, she made her way across the room, arms outstretched. “I've missed you!” she told him as she engulfed him in a hug.

He hugged her back.

“Missed you too,” he said sincerely, “it's good to have you home. Its not been the same without you.”

That much was true, far less work had been getting done in the pub for starters. Charity was useless, Marlon was always complaining and Vic was hardly there! It wasn't exactly plain sailing.

“Well I'm back now, we'll soon get things sorted,” Chas told him, and he didn't miss her double meaning. He knew she was talking about getting more than just the pub sorted. “Sit down, I'll make us a brew.”

Aaron nodded, moving across to take a seat at the small dining table. It was quite strange being here, he really hadn't spent any time in the back room of the pub since they moved into The Mill. With Chas being in Mauritus, he had no reason to spend any time at the pub except in the bar. There was silence for a couple of minutes while she made their tea, she set a mug on the table in front of him before sitting down across the table.

“So...” she started, “how's things?”

“Good,” Aaron answered, there wasn't much else he could say, “pretty uneventful lately to be honest. The yard is doing well, the house is great. Everything is good. Even the haulage firm is doing great, Rob's brought in a lot of new contracts.”  
He saw the look on her face at the mention of his husband, heard her scoff at his name.

“Mum, don't start,” he warned her. “I just got here, and I don't want to fight with you.”

“What?” Chas defended, “I didn't say a thing.”

“You didn't have to,” Aaron muttered, because that was true. Chas Dingle could make her feelings and thoughts perfectly clear with just a look.

“Oh well, Aaron, what do you expect?” she asked with a sigh, “he cheated on you!”

“And I've forgiven him!” Aaron raised his voice, “we got past it, mum. I love him, and nothing is going to change that. I made my decision, you have to accept it.”

“Well I don't think I can,” Chas said, stubborn as ever, “You're my son, and he hurt you. I can't just forgive that or act like it's alright. I can't forgive him for that.”

“Well you're going to have to,” Aaron told her, slumping back in his chair. “It isn't your choice, mum. It's mine, and I've made it. You made him lie to me, remember, I could refuse to forgive you for that.”

“That's different!” she defended herself, “I didn't want you to be any more hurt than you already were, I couldn't bear that!”

“You still lied, he's the one who eventually came clean,” he pointed out, sighing deeply. “You have to let it go, mum.”

He wished it would be as easy as that, that he could say that and she'd do it just because he'd asked. He could hope that would be what happened. Aaron knew it would never be that simple though. It never was, especially not with his mum. He watched her, he could see on her face that she wanted to say something, knew she would eventually.

Eventually didn't take long to arrive.

“That man is poison,” Chas said after a moment, “he has done nothing but screw up your life from the minute he walked into it. First he messed you around for months, then making you cover up what happened with Katie-”

“Mum!” Aaron warned angrily.

Chas wasn't going to be interrupted though.

“Time and time again, he messed with you. You hurt yourself because of him! He messed Chrissie up so much she caused a helicopter crash. Andy almost lost his mind and as for everything else-”

“ENOUGH!” he shouted, standing up from his chair, “I mean it mum, stop it, now. Let it go, because I promise you, if you don't, I will walk out the door and I won't be back. We will be done. Robert is my husband, and you don't know anything about him. You don't know anything about what he's been through, or what happened and why. You can't keep bringing up the past because it doesn't matter anymore! I love him! Nothing you say will change that, stop trying.”

“Aaron, son,” Chas attempted, but she was quickly cut off again.

“No, I mean it, this stops now. You go on and on about how awful Robert is, but you know nothing about him. I'm not the only one in our relationship with issues, I'm not the only one of us who has had to deal with stuff.” Aaron told her. “Nobody ever asks him about that though. As for him screwing up my life? He saved it. Literally. More than once, so if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even be alive. Is that what you'd prefer?”

“Of course not, Aaron, don't be stupid,” Chas snapped.

“I'm not,” he shrugged, sitting down again. “I'm being honest. Robert has been there for me through so much. I wouldn't have got through what happened with Gordon if it wasn't for him. Prison, I'd never have survived it. What he did with Rebecca? It hurts and I was so mad, but I did hurt him too, but he didn't once try to pin the blame on me, he took responsibility. Do you have any idea how much that took for him to do? I do. Robert has never in his life, felt like he was good enough. Has never been treated like he was, not even by his own dad. Hell that man would rather hit him for who he is than accept him,” he paused, seeing the look of curiosity on his mum's face, “I'm not going to tell you anything. That's private, between me and Robert. But understand this, he is how he is for a reason. He's had to deal with shit just like the rest of us, and no, he's not perfect and yes he makes mistakes. He does a lot of stupid stuff but he is not a bad man.”

Aaron had to take a moment. His tea had gone cold but he took a drink anyway, trying to compose himself. He could feel his body thrumming with anger but also hatred, not for his mum, or Robert, but for the people who had made his husband feel like he wasn't good enough. 

“People have always told him that he couldn't be anything better, that he couldn't change or that he wasn't good enough,” Aaron's voice was softer now, not much above a whisper. “They're so wrong, the fact he was honest with me, that shows how much he changed. He loves me, he screwed up, but he loves me and I know that. I know that because he was willing to never have anything to do with his own kid just so that he wouldn't lose me. I know that because he dived back into a lake to get me an engagement ring. I know that because he has stood by me through everything even when I haven't made it easy. God knows I haven't made it easy a lot of the time. He supported me through everything and when I was in prison even, he was the one who looked after Liv, and then Noah while you and Charity went to Prague. He didn't sleep in our bed, he couldn't. He barely slept but he ran my business, helped look after yours, worked on making me a home. He's the one who paid for your flights and your stay in Mauritius. That's the man that you want me to leave, to forget about. That's not going to happen.”

He pushed his chair away from the table and stood up. He could see looking at his mum that she was thinking over everything that he'd said. 

“So it's your choice mum, you either accept it, or you don't. I'm not letting him go because whether you want to see it or not, Robert Sugden is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I'm not going to let him go just because you can't forgive one mistake. The kind of mistake you've made plenty of times in your life. Don't be a hypocrite mum. You know where to find me when you realise how wrong you are.”

Aaron didn't wait for an answer. He turned and walked out of the pub without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chas and Robert have a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry its taken so long, but its been a rough week. I hope this chapter has been worth the wait for you all!

Over the next couple of days, Chas didn't do much besides think about her conversation with Aaron. He had been true to his word and she hadn't seen him since he'd walked out of the pub, so she knew that she would have to be the one to make amends this time. She just didn't see how she could. How could she possibly forgive Robert for what he'd done to her son? She'd given him a chance after everything and she felt that she herself had been betrayed in a way. She missed Aaron though. She loved her son. How could Robert ever be good enough for him now?

However, if Chas had been a fly on the wall at Mill cottage since her conversation with Aaron, she would have seen how Robert comforted her son. Tried to tell him that he shouldn't blame Chas for how she felt about him, because he'd brought it on himself. More than once he'd suggested that his husband go and speak to his mum again. If asked, he would deny that it meant the absolute world to him that Aaron was so determined to be on his side. Of course, that's what he wanted, he wanted his husband to stay with him, and he was secretly ecstatic that Aaron wouldn't go against even Chas to do that. He hated seeing the man he loved hurting though, and he knew that it killed him to be on bad terms with his mum. It had taken them so long to get to a point of being so close, he knew it meant everything to him now.

Aaron wouldn't be persuaded though, he'd shut Robert up with a firm 'She either accepts it and lets it go, or she stays out of our lives. End of.' He'd punctuated the sentence with a deep kiss and of course, that was the last of Robert's protests. 

It had been three days now, and Robert was working from home while Aaron was at the scrapyard. Yes, he could have been there too but he quite fancied just lounging around, working at his own pace in his own home, for one day. He was mostly making phone calls anyway, and he could do that anywhere. He had just ended a call with a client when the doorbell rang, and he frowned as he went to answer, not sure who would be calling since most people they knew would assume they were both at the yard.

The glass windows in the front door meant that he saw who was there before he answered, so he took a moment to steel himself before pulling the door open.

“Chas,” he greeted with a nod of his head, “Aaron's not here, he's at the yard.”

“I know,” Chas said abruptly. “That's why I'm here, I heard Adam in the pub saying you were working from home and I wanted to talk to you without Aaron here.”

Sighing deeply, Robert stepped aside to let his mother in law enter. “If you're here to try and get me to convince him to speak to you, you're wasting your time. I've tried. He's not having any of it.”

“That's not what I want to talk about,” she said as she stalked past him into the living room. “I know Aaron meant what he said, I know my son, I know when he's serious. He's had his moods before where he threatens not to speak to me and usually it lasts a couple hours, not days. Trust me, I know he won't budge.”

“Then what do you want?” Robert asked, genuinely not understanding why she was here, until it dawned on him, “if you're going to try and get me to leave him, you've got even less chance of that happening than you did of me persuading him to talk to you.”

Chas scoffed at that, “I want him to forgive me, not hate me even more than he already does. Will you just shut up and let me speak?”

Robert held his hands up in defeat, moving to the kitchen to put the kettle on, he didn't speak, he just waved it at her, silently asking her if she wanted a cuppa, she shook her head in the negative, so he put the kettle away again. He had a feeling he wouldn't get to enjoy one right now anyway. So instead, he leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

It took a few moments of silence before she eventually spoke, “why did you tell him? After I gave him an excuse at the prison, why hurt him?” If she was honest that was the part she hated most, that her son was hurt.

“I love him too much to lie to him,” he replied back easily. He could see the disbelieving look on her face, so he didn't give her a chance to say anything, “It's true, I could have kept it all from him, but I couldn't bear it. Looking at him, knowing what I'd done, I needed him to know, so that he could decided for himself if he could forgive me. He hated the lying during our affair, it didn't matter to me, I never felt bad about it. I couldn't do it with him. Because he matters, our marriage matters, more than anything else ever has. If I'd lost him, it'd have been no less than I deserved, still having him is more than I deserve, but I won't just give up on him.”

Chas had watched his face the whole time he was speaking, seeing the genuine expression there. She could tell by his eyes that he meant what he was saying and in some ways that made it worse.

“If you love him so much, then how could you do that to him?”

Robert moved from where he stood and went to sink into a chair, running his fingers through his hair, messing it up as he tried to find the words to explain. “It's what I do,” he shrugged eventually. “When I'm hurt, I hurt someone else. Aaron telling me I was no use to him, that hurt and I knew that what would hurt him would be sleeping with her. I hate myself for it, that's not the man I want to be. It wasn't until after everything that I realised just how much I hate that part of myself. You might not believe me, Chas, but that night, I genuinely believed that I'd lost the man I loved, whether because he'd dumped me or because he was lost to drugs and so I got drunk, I called the one person I knew would come running, want me regardless and I used her. I regretted it straight away and I will for the rest of my life. I'm not perfect, I still mess up, I probably always will, but I'm trying. We're trying together.”

“And he just accepted that, did he?” Chas asked

“No,” Robert laughed, a humourless chuckle, “he made me leave at first and I went. I didn't blame him. Trust me, nobody was more surprised than me when he said he would forgive me and that he wanted to work past it.”

“And that one thing is what led you to cheat?” she asked next.

“It was the straw that broke the camels back,” he said honestly. “I was lonely, I was stressed. I wasn't coping as much as I pretended I was. I just didn't let anyone else see it. I slept on the couch every night, I couldn't sleep without him. I was trying to deal with Liv and then she got kicked out of school. I was overseeing this place getting sorted, running both businesses, looking after the pub while you were in Prague. I'm not looking for sympathy, but nobody asked if I needed help. Nobody was bothered with how I was doing, and all of it was getting on top of me, then that day at the prison happened and that was it, I couldn't take it anymore.”

He paused for a moment, blinking back tears, looking Chas straight in the eye. He'd never needed her approval before, he'd always made it clear that he was going to be with Aaron whether she liked it or not, and that hadn't changed. During the time he lived at the pub, they'd reached a place where they at least got on. He didn't feel like she hated him anymore, and then he'd gone and ruined that too with his moment of drunken stupidity.  
“I'm so sorry, Chas,” he said sincerely. “If I could go back and change it, I would. I'd let her walk away, in fact, I just wouldn't call her at all. I'd get drunk in the pub and fall asleep on the couch or in our bed and cry like a baby but I wouldn't screw up like I did. I can't take it back though, that's not how life works. What I can do, is spend the rest of my life making up for it, and that's exactly what I intend to do.”

As much as she wanted to argue, to call him a liar, Chas could see that he wasn't lying, that he wasn't trying to talk her round. His face showed so much inner turmoil, she felt herself thaw just a little.

“I can't forgive you. Not yet, anyway. It's going to take time,” Chas told him, to which Robert simply nodded. “For Aaron's sake though, I can try and let it go, we can try and all move on. I love my son, and he loves you. Believe it or not, I do believe you love him too. Hurt him again though, in any way, and so help me, you won't get any more chances. I will make sure he walks away from you and never looks back.”

“I won't, I promise,” Robert said with utter certainty and conviction.

“In that case, clean slate. Fresh start from here on out,” she looked at the clock, seeing Aaron should be home soon. “I'll take that cuppa now,” she said, settling herself at the kitchen table.

Robert just gave a small smile before standing up and going to do as he was told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! As always comments are greatly appreciated, as are kudos!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @sugglesmiles and on twitter @joaniew1985


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert have a heart to heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter 3! It might be the last one for a couple weeks as I go on holiday on Sunday and don't get back home til the 18th and I'm working Friday and Saturday!
> 
> So I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> A heart to heart between Aaron and Robert

Chas was still drinking her tea, Robert moving around the kitchen and clearing up a bit thinking it was better than trying to make awkward conversation, when the front door opened and Aaron walked in. The younger man frowned when he saw his mum sitting at their kitchen table, mug in her hands. The room was silent. He had told her not to contact him until she was willing to put things in the past, so why was she here? That was what he wanted to know. He looked between his mum and his husband for a moment before he asked her exactly that.

“What are you doing here mum?”

Chas looked up, smiling, “I needed to have a conversation with Robert,” she said.

“Yeah, well if you came looking for trouble, you can just leave again,” Aaron told her.

He hadn't been there, hadn't been privvy to the conversation and so he didn't know what to make of it. No, there hadn't been a screaming match going on when he arrived, but there was definitely an awkward atmosphere and he just didn't know what to think.

Chas sighed deeply, “that's not why I'm here,” she promised, “but there were some things that needed saying.”

“I swear mum, if you started anything...” he would have continued but Robert cut in and stopped him.

“Aaron,” he said softly, “it's okay, I promise. Your mum just needed some answers.” He paused, looking at Chas, “maybe you could give us some space?” he suggested, he could see she wanted to object but gave a slight shake of his head, “I think Aaron and I need to have a conversation of her own.”  
“Fine,” the woman huffed slightly, standing up, she looked at her son, “call me later, or come over, yeah?”

Aaron didn't answer, he didn't know what to say yet. Chas looked sad, but she left. After another minute or two, Aaron finally broke the silence.

“So, what really happened? Was she giving you grief?” he asked his husband.

“No, I promise,” Robert said, walking over and wrapping Aaron in a hug, “she just needed an explanation.”

“The only one entitled to one of those is me,” Aaron said determinedly. 

“I know,” Robert nodded, it was true, and if Aaron was willing to forgive him, he didn't really owe anything to anybody else. 

He knew how much Aaron loved his mum though. Knew that it would kill him if they didn't speak again and Robert didn't want to be the cause of that. If explaining himself to Chas is what helped stop that from happening then he didn't mind.

“What did she ask you?” Aaron asked eventually when he pulled back from the hug.

Robert shrugged, moving to grab a couple of bottles of beer from the fridge, handing one to Aaron and then walking over to the couch where they both sat down.

“Just what you'd expect really,” he said, “why I did it, why I told you when she had given me a way out,” he explained.

“What did you tell her?” Aaron questioned, curious as to whether Robert had been honest with his mum or if he'd held back.

“That I love you too much to lie to you,” Robert responded without having to think twice. “The truth, because that's what it is. I told her how alone I'd felt when you were inside, how I felt like I had no support. I didn't want to lie to her, that wasn't going to help anything.”

“You still didn't owe her anything though,” the younger man pointed out.

Smiling slightly, Robert nodded. “She's your mum, she loves you. I don't blame her for hating me, I still hate myself for what I did to you. I don't want to see you unhappy because you've had to take sides between us, and if the only way to stop that from happening was to give her the answers that she wanted, then that's what I was going to do. I don't want your family to hate me forever, Aaron. If we really are going to make this work-”

“Which we are,” Aaron said before Robert continued.

“Which we are,” Robert agreed, “then we need your family to at least not despise me. To be able to be in a room with me at least. The truth is, your mum and I might never be best friends but we had gotten to a decent place, and if I'm honest, I don't want her to keep hating me. I want to be able to get back to where we were before, where we can actually talk without insulting each other.”

“You really mean that?” Aaron asked him

“Of course I do,” Robert nodded, and he did. “She's your mum, she matters to you, and what matters to you, matters to me,” he was very adamant about that. “I might not always be the best at showing that, I'm an idiot, I screw up a lot, I know that but that doesn't make it any less true, and I need you to know that.”

“I do know it,” Aaron promised, reaching out and squeezing Robert's arm. “I really do, I promise. So do you think she'll be okay with you now?”

“I think she's going to try,” the older man gave a half smile, “and for now, that's all we can really ask for, don't you think?” He waited for Aaron's answering nod. “I don't want you to lose your mum because of me, you need her. I'd do anything to have mine here, I won't be what splits you apart from yours.”

“I'm sorry,” Aaron said softly, tears brimming at his eyes and Robert gave him a questioning look, so his husband explained, “I wish your mum was here too. You deserve to have family around you who support you. I take for granted that I have my mum and Liv and all of the Dingles, I don't always think about the fact that you really only have Victoria, and right now, barely even that because she's more concerned with Rebecca.”

Robert gave a sad smile, “you don't have to be sorry. It is what it is, we can't change it. It is why I know you have to make things up with your mum though. Nothing is worth losing her over. Not even me.”

“Don't say that,” Aaron almost growled, “don't ever think you're not worth everything, because you are. To me, you're worth everything, don't ever forget that.”

Robert was the one with tears in his eyes now, “I love you so much,” he said, “I don't deserve you, you're way too good for me but I'm selfish, and I'm okay with that because if it means I get to keep you then I'll selfishly hang on to you for the rest of my life.”

“I'm not going anywhere, soft lad,” Aaron chuckled, wiping some tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. “You're stuck with me, we're in this together, every step of the way. Messed up forever, remember?”

“Yeah,” Robert laughed, still crying a little, “I won't ever forget that. I'm definitely messed up.”

“We both are,” Aaron interjected.

“Maybe that's why we work,” Robert smiled, moving to lay his head on Aaron's shoulder.

“Maybe,” Aaron agreed.

“You should talk to your mum,” Robert told him a few minutes later when they'd both calmed down a bit.

Aaron was silent, but he nodded, his cheek resting on top of Robert's head, “I will,” he promised. “Later though, right now, I just want to stay here with you. Just like this.”

Robert snuggled closer.

“I'm okay with that,” he said.

Because truthfully, there was nowhere else that Robert would rather be than right there, cuddled up on the couch with his husband in their home.

He was starting to believe that things would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos so appreciated!
> 
> Liv will be coming up next! She and Robert need to work some things out!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv's back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long! I was on holiday and then I've been really sick so I haven't been writing! But I am back now!
> 
> This is just a filler chapter really, bringing Liv home to set up for the next chapter which is the big conversation between her and Robert.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Over the next couple of weeks, things seemed to settle down quite a lot. The truce between Robert and Chas, while still tentative, was making life easier for all of them. Aaron was able to go for a drink with his husband in the pub without having daggers glared in their direction, and snide comments being made when their pints were handed over. It was a definite improvement.

That didn't mean that everything was plain sailing, the situation with Rebecca was ongoing, and every time she showed her face, there were definitely comments made, but for the most part, Robert and Aaron were keeping their distance. Robert was offering some support with money and such, and being kept in the loop via Victoria, but Aaron was a part of all of that too.

All in all, things had been quiet.

That was about to change though.

Robert was at home, in the kitchen of the Mill, working on making a nice dinner for him and Aaron who was due home from the scrapyard soon. He had just put chicken in the oven when he heard the door of the flat closed, and he frowned, looking at the clock.

“You're home early,” he called out, turning to head in to the living room. 

He was surprised to find, not Aaron there, but Liv. Who wasn't supposed to be home just yet, but in Dublin with her mum for another week at least.

“Surprise,” the teenager said, deadpan. The look she gave Robert wasn't one of happiness.

“Liv!” he exclaimed, “You weren't supposed to be home until next week, why didn't you tell us you were coming?”

“I didn't tell you because it's none of your business,” she told him, “as for Aaron, I wanted to surprise him.”

Robert was stung by Liv's words, but he tried not to show it. He knew he couldn't blame her for it, she was Aaron's little sister and she was fiercely protective of him. It was one of the things Robert admired most about the girl, anyone who loved Aaron that much, well that made them alright as far as Robert was concerned, not that he'd necessarily tell them that.

“Liv,” he sighed, “please, don't be like that.”

“Like what?” She retorted, “Pissed off that you cheated on my brother and got some slapper pregnant?” she asked him, sneering, “sorry, no can do. You're lucky I haven't been around to have you arrested.”

“That's not fair,” Robert said.

“Fair?” she asked, eyebrows shooting up. “No what's not fair is you sleeping with that slag while my brother, your husband, was in prison. Not fair, is having your head so far up your own backside that you couldn't keep it in your trousers just because the two of you had an argument. I found out he was on drugs too and I told you, I didn't go out and do something stupid, you weren't the only one upset about it. You just acted like you were and ruined everything.”

Sighing again, Robert ran a hand through his hair in frustration. She was right, he knew she was. They both did. He didn't blame her for being angry at him, he'd let her down just as much as he'd let Aaron down. He'd promised her too that she could rely on him, no matter how much he'd been hurting, it didn't excuse anything.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly.

“Yeah well, sorry doesn't cut it,” Liv said, pushing by him, heading for the stairs.

“Liv, please, can't we talk?” he was almost begging. She was like his own little sister, he didn't want her to hate him.

Liv and Aaron, they were his family, he wanted things to be okay with all of them. For them to go back to how things were before. He knew that was a lot to ask for, and he didn't expect it to be easy.

“You really think that talking is going to help?” the young girl snapped at him, “you can't just say sorry and expect everything to go back to normal. It doesn't just make everything alright.”

“I know that,” Robert said sincerely, “I don't expect it to, I just want a chance to explain.”

He saw the look on her face, it wasn't one that suggested that it would work.

“Maybe explain is the wrong word,” he told her, “I can't explain why I did what I did, it won't make it better, but maybe, if we can talk about what was going on in my head. What is always going on in my head, you'll at least be able to think about moving past it. I don't expect you to forgive me, Liv,” Robert said and he really didn't. You're my family, and I want us to be able to get back to how things were, even if it takes time. Just hear me out, and if you still don't want to know, I won't blame you and I won't try to make you forgive me.”

“Fine,” she said, “but I'm going for a bath first, you can wait.”

“Okay,” he nodded, because he wasn't going to argue with her, he knew it was a big step just getting her to agree to talk.

“Oh, and you can go to David's and get me those crisps that I like, the ones at a fiver a bag, some chocolate too, and a big bottle of coke,” Liv listed off the things she wanted. She hadn't had those crisps in ages!

Robert nodded, usually he'd tell her she had no chance, but right now, he'd pretty much do whatever she wanted f it meant she agreed to talk to him.

“By the way, I reserve the right to deck you if I'm not satisfied by any of what you have to say for yourself,” she smirked, not saying anything else, she turned and stomped up the stairs.

Well, this would be an interesting conversation, that was one thing Robert was sure of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments appreciated!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @sugglesmiles or twitter @joaniew1985


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation between Robert and Liv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, their conversation, very dialogue heavy. I hope you enjoy!

Robert had gone to the shop as instructed, and he returned back soon after with a bag overflowing with various items. Not just the specifics that his sister in law had asked for, but also various other items that he knew she liked. He was making an extra effort, he felt like he had to. He was trying to make an impression after all. While he waited for her to finish with her shower and all of that, he set the items out on the coffee table, ready for her when she came down.

He was nervous, he'd readily admit it to anyone who asked, which usually he wouldn't do but he knew it was obvious so there really would have been no point in denying it. Anyone would see he was lying if he did. He used to be better at hiding these things. Not that he minded too much, he didn't want to lie to Aaron and Liv, so they could see he was nervous, that was okay.

He was sat on the couch, elbows on his knees, hands clasped and feet bouncing anxiously while he waited when the teenager finally made her way down the spiral staircase. She looked at the spread on the table and raise an eyebrow

“Are you trying to put me into a food coma before I can make you tell me anything or I yell at you?” she asked him, her usual sarcasm lacing her voice.

Robert chuckled a little bit, shaking his head

“No, you've just been gone so long, I thought it'd be nice to get all your favourites,” he explained, “you don't have to eat it all just now, I can put it away for later.”

She nodded, grabbing the crisps and sat down.

“So...” she said, drawing it out, waiting a moment before continuing, “are you going to tell me why it isn't your fault? Why I shouldn't hate you?”

He shook his head automatically.

“No,” he said adamantly, “not at all because neither of those things are true, it's completely my fault and I wouldn't blame you for hating me.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with Robert?” Liv asked.

Her words drew another breathy chuckle from the man, he understood where she was coming from, it was true, not so long ago he would have tried to worm his way out of it, find a way for none of it to be his fault but he was trying not to be that man anymore. Certainly not in this particular situation.

“It's true, Liv,” Robert shrugged, “I'm the only person to blame. It's like you said, I wasn't the only one who knew about Aaron and the drugs, I'm just the only one who acted like a total prat about it. I'm not going to go into the details, some things were said the last time I saw Aaron in prison before it happened, the thing with Rebecca,” he didn't even like saying her name in front of Liv.

“Was it so bad that it made you think it was okay to cheat on Aaron?” she asked him.

With a shake of his head, Robert continued, “no, nothing makes that okay. I can tell you where my head was. That I thought I'd lost him, that I thought he didn't want me anymore, that I couldn't help him. I thought something could happen to him. I thought I was useless and when I get like that, it's like I see this big red button that says 'self destruct now' on it, and I can't help myself. I press it every time, and that time, self destruct was getting stupidly drunk and texting Rebecca. I didn't actually ask her to come over, but she did, and I took advantage of the situation, like I always do. Part of me wanted Aaron to hurt, the way that I was hurting. I wasn't coping and so I thought it was a good idea to just ruin everything. I hated myself for it, and there's a lot of reasons why I am that way that I am but that doesn't make it okay.”

He paused, looking for a reaction from Liv. He didn't get one, she simply stayed silent, waiting for him to carry on, which he did after a minute or so.

“I came clean to Chas the next day, we went to see Aaron and I had every intention of telling him there and then, but he said he was sorry, that he hadn't meant what he said, how you and me were the only things getting him through it all and Chas stopped me from telling him the truth. I thought then that maybe he never had to know, then Rebecca told me she was pregnant and I did some horrible things, tried to force her to have an abortion, to leave, anything so Aaron wouldn't find out, wouldn't get hurt. Ross knew and he was blackmailing me which is why we came to Mauritius, I was running away. In the end though, I couldn't keep it from him, because he's Aaron, and I want my life with him, and I don't want it to be built on lie. I knew it would probably mean losing him but I needed to tell him, I needed him to know that he was the only one I wanted, that even though I screwed up, monumentally, that I couldn't keep lying to him. I knew how important honesty was to him, and I had to give him that, even if it meant I might lose him. I know how lucky I am, Liv,” he told her honestly.

He stopped again, blinking back some tears that threatened to fall, that was the last thing he needed or wanted, to cry in front of Liv, she'd use it against him forever, he was certain of that.

“I don't deserve him, I know that. I know I don't deserve another chance from him, from any of you, but I promise, I won't blow it this time, I'm going to do everything, anything, to prove to you, especially Aaron and you, how much our life means to me. You two are my family, and you're all I want.”

“What about the baby?” Liv asked.

It was a question he had hoped not to have to answer, a topic he and Aaron had a few hushed conversations about, an understanding reached. It was still hard for him though, and he tried not talk about it. She deserved an answer though.

“It's a boy,” he told her softly, “and I don't want him to grow up resenting me like I did my dad. I don't want to have more to do with Rebecca than I have to, everything will be done properly. Legally. I was horrible when I suggested she get rid of him, it's not his fault, babies don't ask to be born, they don't choose their situations, he deserves a dad that will be there for him. Aaron said he'll support me, and honestly, I'll need him to because I have no doubt he'll be better at the whole thing than me, but it'll be a lucky kid to have Aaron in his life in any way. You too. Unless you don't want to be, I won't make you, neither will Aaron.”

“Can I think about it?” Liv asked him, it seemed like a bit of a daft question to her, the kid wasn't even really anything to do with her, but she asked anyway.

“Of course you can,” Robert nodded, “I know you'll need time to decide if you'll even forgive me.”

Liv was quiet for a bit, munching on her bag of crisps, and Robert just sat there with her in the quiet, wanting to give her time to sort her thoughts out. She would speak when she was ready, he knew that. He didn't know how much time passed, but eventually, she did speak up again.

“You said you had reasons, for how you are, what are they?” she questioned, maybe it was a bit nosey, but he'd brought it up and he wouldn't answer if he didn't want to.

“It's a long story,” Robert told her.

“Which is code for 'none of your business',” she rolled her eyes.

“No,” he shook his head, “it's code for it's a long story. There's a lot of different stuff, stuff with my brother, our life growing up. My dad, he was really old fashioned in a lot of ways, he didn't like who I was. He knew, he was the only one who did, but when he found out, I got battered for it. It's why I've hidden a big part of who I am for a long time. I was so scared of being myself,” he explained to her honestly. “I did so many bad things, stupid things, just trying to be the kind of man I thought I was expected to be, at least a little bit. I was never going to be exactly that because I wasn't a farmer, I didn't run the family farm, but at least I could have the wife and kids, you know? Be 'normal'. I was never happy, I was just good at pretending. The first time I've ever been really happy, is now, being with Aaron, part of our family, and I didn't know how important that was until I almost lost it, after I was shot, that changed a lot for me.”

“Tell me more,” she requested.

So he did, Robert spent the next hour telling her all about growing up, feeling inferior to Andy after his friend had been adopted into his family. About his mum, and the fire that killed her and the resentment that had built up in him after that. He even told her about that fateful game of chicken that had led to him being exiled by his father and how alone he'd been. The teenager listened with rapt attention, taking in every word. She didn't even make fun of him when a few tears escaped.

When he was done, she sat up, looking at him, nodding her head, reaching over and hugged him.

“I forgive you,” she whispered to him, so softly he almost thought he'd imagined it, and it just made him want to cry all over again.

Never good with overly emotional stuff, after letting go, Liv stood up, grabbed her coke and her chocolate and headed for the stairs. Pausing at the bottom, she turned

“Robert?” she waited until his attention was on her, “don't mess up again, don't hurt us again. Because that man your dad thought you should be? You're better than that. You're our Robert, and we love you.”

She didn't wait for an answer, she just hurried upstairs, and Robert was glad because if she'd have seen him wiping tears from his cheeks.

If he cried later when he recounted it all to Aaron, well she didn't have to know that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are so appreciated! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @sugglesmiles and on twitter @joaniew1985


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family meal at the pub leads to a confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry its taken so long i've been feeling pretty down lately but I hope this has been worth the wait.
> 
> Here it is, the last chapter, it wasn't initially intended to be but by the end it just felt like it was the right ending so please enjoy!

The next few weeks were uneventful for the three occupants of Mill Cottage, they were slowly finding their way back to a bit of normalcy. There had been a lot of days spent inside, being domestic and just enjoying the time in their new home together like they should have been able to in the first place. Having not been together for so long with Liv away in Ireland, they had to get used to each other again. Trust was being regained, bridges rebuilt. One step, and one day, at a time.  
On Friday night, two weeks after Liv had returned home, they decided to venture out to the pub for a family dinner. They had called ahead and invited Chas to join them, which she would, during her break. They found their usual booth in the corner and made themselves comfortable, Robert going to the bar to get them all drinks while they waited for Aaron's mum to join them.

They were chatting quietly between themselves, laughing at something Liv had said when Chas made her way round the bar to join them. They had just ordered food a few minutes later when they heard new arrivals in the pub, they didn't pay much attention until the shadow fell over their table and looking up, they saw Rebecca standing there.

“What do you want?” Robert sighed, “we're trying to have a nice dinner, now really isn't the time.”

“I just wanted to let you know I have a scan next week,” Rebecca told him, hand on her slightly (barely) growing stomach.

“Good to know,” Robert said dismissively, turning back to the conversation he'd been having.

“Robert,” Rebecca sighed, “please-”

She was cut off by an annoyed voice, “Can't you see he doesn't want to know right now?” Liv was the one who had spoken up. “We're having a family meal, that doesn't include you, you can leave now.”

“Liv!” Aaron warned her, but he did had a slight smile tugging at his lips.

“This isn't anything to do with you, Liv,” Rebecca told her, “it's between me and Robert.”

“Yeah and Robert just told you he's busy,” the teenager pointed out.

“Look, I get that you're upset, but this isn't just on me and it's not going away, Robert needs to-”

Once again, she didn't get a chance to finish, and just as before, Liv was the one stopping her in her tracks.

“Robert doesn't have to do anything,” she countered, “you need to accept that, you also need to accept some responsibility, because it takes two, and don't start with saying he led you on or whatever crap you want to try and say to make us feel sorry for you, because it won't work. You're a stupid tart and you need to do one.”

Rebecca blinked, not quite sure how to react, it took her a moment to respond.

“How dare you?” she said, “That is completely unfair, he called me that night, he wanted me.”

“No he wanted to hurt Aaron,” Liv argued, “you were just easy, like you always have been because you're obsessed with him. It's sad really, that you're so desperate for him that you'd sleep with him when he's wasted, you could have been anyone,” she pointed out.

“He took advantage of me,” Rebecca argued.

“Oh boohoo,” Liv snorted, “you can't take advantage of someone who offers it on a plate. If anything you took advantage of him, he was drunk, you weren't. He was hurting, you weren't. You knew it and you played on it to get what you wanted, you can deny it as much as you want but you're a devious cow and we all know it. You can stand there trying to play innocent with your big, sad eyes and blinking a million times a minute but it's not going to change the facts. You might be pregnant, it might or might not be Robert's but that doesn't mean he has to have anything to do with you. He doesn't have to care about you to care about his kid. You might have this stupid fantasy in your head that he'll change his mind and you'll be a family but it won't happen, not now, not ever, and do you know why?”

She paused, looking at Rebecca, eyebrow raised but the older woman said nothing, so the teenager continued.

“It's because he already has a family. Us. Me and Aaron, we're his family. And if that baby is his and he decides to be involved then it'll be part of our family, but if he doesn't or it isn't, he'll still have us. You've tried to come between us all so many times, and you almost managed it this time but you didn't. You lose, Rebecca. Robert has told us all of his history, all of his pain and his issues with his dad. Did you know that's why it took his so long to accept who he was? Because of what his dad would think? It was Aaron who helped him accept it, it was Aaron that changed him. Not you, not your psycho sister. So give it up. Go away and leave us alone, leave him alone because he's not interested.”

“Robert,” Rebecca turned to him, expecting him to say something, to defend her.

That wasn't what she got though.

“What she said,” Robert told her.

“Do one,” Aaron reiterated.

Speechless, Rebecca turned on her heel and headed for the door.

“Oh Rebecca,” Chas called after her, “you're barred.”

The blonde huffed her way out of the door.

“Thank you,” Robert said sincerely, to each person at the table.

“Well it's true,” Chas said, “we're a family.”

“And it's going to stay that way,” Liv agreed.

“Messed up, forever, right?” Aaron smiled at his husband.

“Messed up forever,” Robert agreed, smiling back at him.

With that, the small family forgot the previous confrontation and went back to enjoying their time together, each with a sense that everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Hope you liked it!
> 
> Comments and kudos are so appreciated
> 
> Find me on tumblr @sugglesmiles or twitter @joaniew1985

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! All comments and kudos are appreciated. I love to know what you think!
> 
> You can find me on twitter @joaniew1985 or tumblr @sugglesmiles.
> 
> Thanks guys!


End file.
